Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All I want is dick and wine.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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