I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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