I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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