very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
