you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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