I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
