i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize