those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
