U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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