we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
