She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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