I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
