You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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