Just cropdusted the office
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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