I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
