if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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