are you still at the devil's house?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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