Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
