so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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