She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
