I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize