My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
