I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
