just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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