my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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