There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
