Me too!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
