you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
