i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i came on her dog
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
