Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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