i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
