Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
ttyl tear gas
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
