we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
