Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
