just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
