I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
