You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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