As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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