Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
