i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
