Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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