Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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