i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
