dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
