dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Help me help you realize you are a moron
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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