Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
