well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize