In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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