you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
