so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
