DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
