Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
