OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
