sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
