btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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