U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
