So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
