so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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