my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
