i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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