Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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