I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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