I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
